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I saw this elsewhere and thought it was so good that I would share it here ! J

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 tickets to the final of Euro 2016

I have two tickets to the final of Euro 2016, but just realised that’s it on the same day as my wedding so I can’t go. 

 

If anyone is interested and would like to go instead of me…….. it’s at St Andrews Church in Brighton and the girls name is Sarah.

 

 

 

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From Facebook by chance? Saw it myself and chuckled yesterday too!

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Yea from Facebook,but via another forum. Just made me burst out laughing.

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Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken wall at 10 Downing Street; one from London, another from Bristol and the third guy is a Scouser from Liverpool.

They go with a government official to examine the wall.

The London contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.

'Well', he says, 'I figure the job will run about £900: £400 for materials, £400 for my crew and £100 profit for me.'

The Bristol contractor also does some measuring and figuring, and then says, 'I can do this job for £700: £300 for materials, £300 for my crew and £100 profit for me.'

The Liverpool contractor doesn't measure or figure but leans over to the Government official and whispers, "£2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, 'You didn't even measure like the other guys!

How did you come up with such a high figure?'

The Liverpool contractor whispers back, '£1000 for me, £1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Bristol to fix the wall.'

'Done!' replies the government official.

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Unfortunately probably true- it's called Facilities Management :) 

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Cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of beer. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers; one is in Arizona and the other is in Colorado. When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way; he orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking. Hasn't affected my brothers though."

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LOL now that one I like!

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