Guest jester

Jesters Corner

180 posts in this topic

Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ....

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

I'll get me coat.....

(and hat and gloves, cos I'm off to freezing Germany on holiday tomorrow)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My last 'joke':?: upset someone, so I leaving the jokes out for a couple of days... :(

However, 'CYCLIST', That one was Excellent... :)

Enjoy your Hols, and send us all an 'E-Postcard'......

Yours Jester :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Cyc that was superb, not come across that one before!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

CONTEMPORARY OPERAS

(These where borrowed from 'Shite's Unoriginal Miscellany', they are due back next Monday...)

S.-G. Eriksson (lib. by V. Beckham): Ariadne Im Argos (features the soprano/contralto duet

'Wo, wo ist der Katalog, Liebling?'

('Where, my darling, O where, is the catalogue?')

:) :) :)

------

G. W. Bush & A. R. P. Blair (lib. by A. Campbell & D. Rumsfeld):

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The jester returns....

A Comedy for the whole 'Family'

Coming to a Cinema Near You Soon!!!

:) :) :) :)

Yours Jester :jester:

PS: 'The Jester Returns....' is the sequel to 'The Jester Goes Shopping...' and 'The Jester Goes On Holiday...' :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:jester:Jesters Quick Guide to Some of

Ye Olde Kings and Queens of Merrie Olde England (924 - 1649) :jester:

Anglo-Saxon Kings

  • 924-939 Athelstan; (15yrs, 102 days) : Last seen married to Hilda in Coronation Street...

  • 975-978 Edward the Martyr; (2yrs, 253 days) : Really was a Martyr to his Lumbago...

  • 978-1016 Ethelred the Unready; (38yrs, 36 days) : Never did master the art of getting dressed, and so was always in a somewhat dishevelled state, when meeting people...

  • 1016 Edmund Ironside; (222 days) : First known use of a 'Wheelchair' in history...

    Danish Kings
  • 1013 Sweyn Forkbeard; (a few weeks) : 'Starved to death', his beard kept getting in the way of his fork at meal times...

  • 1016-1035 Canute; (18yrs, 347 days) : This king really had a 'thing' about holidaying by the coast, where he loved to paddle in the waves...

    Anglo-Saxon Kings (cont.)
  • 1042-1066 St Edward the Confessor; (23yrs, 294 days) : This one was a right 'pain' for ye olde police force, because he was always 'confessing' to every crime, that was reported by Ye Herald(early english newspaper)...

  • 1066 Harold II; (283 days) : Lost the Battle of Hastings because he got something in his eye...

    Norman and Plantagenet Kings1066-1377
  • William the Conqueror : Inventor of the game of Conker's, hence the name...

  • Richard I 1189-1199 (third son of Henry II) : First known case of a heart transplant using an animal's heart, (in this case that of a lion)...

    Houses of Lancaster and York, 1377-1485
  • Richard II 1377-1399 : Everybody got the 'hump' with this one...

    House of Tudor, 1485-1603
  • Henry VIII 1509-1547 (Henry VII's second son) : Reputed to be the 'original author' of that well know ballad "I'm Henry the Eighth, I am"...

  • Mary 1553-1558 (Henry's daughter by Queen Catherine) : Does the rhyme 'Mary, Mary quite contrary', ring a bell...

  • Elizabeth I 1558-1603 (Henry's daughter by Anne Boleyn) : Also known as the 'Virgin Queen' because of her love for 'Virgin Mobile Phones'...

    House of Stuart, 1603-1714
  • James I 1603-1625 (great-great-grandson of Henry VII) : Scottish, And 'Proud of It' (also Co-Founder of the MacDonalds fast food franchise, said by some to be the inspiration for the 'Mascot' Ronald)...

  • Charles I 1625-1649 (second son of James) : Power really got to this one. So much so, that he quite lost his head...

and so dear reader, it is with regret that here, we have come to a parting of the ways... I hope that ye have enjoyed this 'jolly' little romp through ye annals of historie... :) :)

Yours Jester :jester:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

4 A Good Time 'Click' Here...

Yours Jester :jester:

The Jester would like to make it known, that he is, in no way, shape, or form, connected, related, or having a relationship with the Creator/Owner of the above site. The Jester and said Creator/Owner of the aforementioned site, just happen by pure chance and/or weird quirk of fate, to have the same first name, and the same taste in jokes...

:)

The Jester also wishes it to be known that he will in no way be held responsible for any effects that are detremental to the reader that are a result of visiting the aforementioned site...

:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:jester:Thought for the Day:jester:

If A Picture Paints A Thousand Words...

Then why do we use 'Dictionaries' instead of 'Colouring Books and Crayons'... :)

Yours Jester :jester:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your content will need to be approved by a moderator

Guest
You are commenting as a guest. If you have an account, please sign in.
Reply to this topic...

×   You have pasted content with formatting.   Remove formatting

  Only 75 emoticons maximum are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor